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Most kids preferred to run in herds, shuffling through malls, hunting down cell phone accessories and gorging themselves on cocoa milkshakes. Over hundreds of days, through a process of natural selection, these impotent traits were discarded. A new human animal was born. His pack mentality was replaced with a new urge to think and act freely. The overwhelming desire to conform was traded for a willingness to stand alone. Alas, just as it has always been, the old world shunned the new and the boy was always destined to be Friendless. While his peers lived normal teenage lives, trading pogs and hiding their erections from their maths teacher, Friendless lived in the shadows, watching and learning. He found that the only way he could communicate with the world was through music. As the boy grew up he developed a soulful electronic tone that was unique, like whales having sex on Quaaludes. The world finally started to take notice. The Friendless legend is growing; it’s only a matter of