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This is Jacqui L. She lives on PLANET PARALLEL 5. Affectionately referred to by its inhabitants (known as Planet Parallel 5ians) as PP5. Please visit Jacqui L at www.jacquil.com. She is waiting... just standing around... waiting. In the interest of specificity... yes - Jacqui L is a scorpion of sorts... and yes - those are her eyes on her tail. (And yes- it takes a great deal of limbering and warm-up for her to apply her mascara each day, but she does, as vanity is as powerful a force on PP5 as it is on Earth.) If one WERE tempted by the waft of the tacky perfume of a cheap joke at this time, one MIGHT say that Jacqui L possesses a particular biological predisposition for hindsight (given her eyes are on her tail), but this author has decided such an attempt at such competitively priced humour is beneath her... at this time. PP5 is an awfully long way away. The few earthlings motivated and wealthy enough to have traveled to this curious planet have been sorely disappointed when