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'Teenage Hand Models are the worst band in Sydney. They are the antithesis of any sort of progression in a burgeoning local music scene. Considering they’ve only been a band for a few months (which already feels like far too long), the fact that more and more people are turning up to their shows has baffled punters and members themselves. They’ve steadily been absorbing people who vaguely resemble musicians in an ever-changing line-up resulting in an abundance of unnecessaries; apparently last show one of them had to resort to playing a keg with a pair of twigs. They’re actually playing a show at the Dale right now, as I’m writing this public service announcement from home, because I’d rather be standing on my own sticky carpet watching a tearjerker with Mrs. Palmer, probably excreting higher quality produce than their entire repertoire. Latest release ‘Nek Minnit’ is a full-blown retard explosion inspired by Chinese water torture. The hook for ‘My Head’s so Fucked’ is so blunt you