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Vig Amortis was, and is, one of Australia's first "boat people", having arrived on the shores of Western Australia in 1588 as part of Dirk Hartog's fateful arrival. Beaten to death with a pewter dish by fellow crew members, for humming in his sleep, Vig awoke from painful slumber in a shallow, beachside grave, to find himself alone, as the first European zombie on the shores of the Great Southern Land. Amortis traversed the continent over the next centuries, sometimes alone, sometimes joining local Aboriginal tribes, from whom he learnt a great deal about rhythm, texture, dynamics, pitch and structural composition. A romantic at heart, Vig fell in love with a delightful female corpse, Syphyl, who had died giving birth in Port Jackson Military Hospital in 1791. From 1846 through 1961 Vig exhumed the bodies and feasted on the brains of classical musicians exclusively. However, in 1928, he became entranced with the sound of the Theremin and has, more recently, found an appetite for